Eleven Questions You Should Be Asking The Person You Are Dating.

Photo by Git Stephen Gitau from Pexels

Yesterday, July 1st, marked one year that my girlfriend and I have been together. If you would like to know what we did you can check it out via my instagram. There is a highlight, igtv video, and more. I would first like to thank everyone who wished us a happy anniversary and those who virtually shared some of the moments with us. You are appreciated.

In lieu of my anniversary we will discuss romantic relationships. More specifically, eleven questions you should be asking the person you are dating early on to make sure that you are choosing to be in a romantic relationship with the right person. 


To start off let’s look at my past relationships. Most were entered into for the wrong reasons; however, being as though I was 21 and under during these times that is somewhat expected. Deciding to be in a relationship for the “wrong reasons” isn’t necessarily a bad thing because there are a lot of components to a relationship and many of them fluctuate. The problem comes in when you are a go with the flow type of person and I would say most people are when it comes to relationships. In the moment it may feel right but you have to think about a future with that person and what that would look like. The relationship may not start off as something serious but love can grow and in the blink of an eye you can be celebrating your seven year anniversary and or possibly an engagement. Therefore, it is important to be real with yourself and your partner throughout your entire relationship. Do not wait until the engagement to discuss the real questions. Within the first three months you need to ask and discuss these eleven questions (in no specific order):

  1. What does a romantic relationship look like to you?
  2. What do you want in a significant other?
  3. What is your family like?
  4. Did your family like your ex? Why or why not?
  5. How much debt are you in?
  6. Do you want to get married and/or have kids?
  7. What does a marriage look like to you?
  8. Are you and/or your family religious?
  9. Why did you and your ex’s relationship end?
  10. What does your credit look like?
  11. What is your love language?

I know that most of these seem like intrusive and intimidating questions but they are extremely important in a relationship. Knowing the answers to these questions early on will make for an efficiently equipped tool box that is needed to build a stable foundation. I can honestly say that not asking the right questions in the beginning is the ultimate reason my past relationships did not work out. 

Having honest and upfront conversations early on will create a space for comfort, trust, understanding, reliability, and compassion. Thank me later. Being able to trust your partner and be vulnerable with them early on in the relationship clears the path for a healthy and successful relationship.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! Per usual, at this time it’s your turn to write:

Comment below when it is that you typically discuss these questions with your partner. Also comment additional questions you feel necessary to ask early in the relationship.

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