Three Things I Learned From My Father

Happy Fathers Day to all of the men out there who are putting their best foot forward in fatherhood. You are truly appreciated. Your children and the mother of your children need you! Other children who do not have fathers need you and you don’t even know it. Thank you for being there. Special shoutout to the men who do not have children of their own but are a father figure to a child in need. 


The most special shoutout to my father!

Growing up I was a daddy’s girl, this is confirmed by all the pictures of him holding me. Even as a young child I remember wanting to go with him all the time, eating just about anything he ate, wanting to work on the car with him, etc. So this year for Father’s Day 2020 I am writing this blog post to honor him since he isn’t on social media much. 

My father has taught me numerous things both intentionally and unintentionally. It was not always clear to me at the moment what I was supposed to learn from him but looking back the lessons are clear. 

Today I share with you three things that I learned from my father

One. How to borrow/loan money to family and friends. Most people say don’t lend money to your family and friends because you do not want money to come in between you all. My father on the other hand showed me that it is okay to lend money to family and friends as long as you have it to give. I remember him telling me that if you are going to need the money back soon do not lend it out, that means that you do not have it to give. He told me that when you allow someone to borrow money from you, never expect to get it back. At the time I didn’t understand this because I thought that borrowing meant temporary and that whatever was borrowed was required to be returned. 

Some years later he told me “there is a difference between can I have and can I borrow.” It was at this moment that I realized what he meant years before. Telling me not to expect the money that I allowed someone to borrow back wasn’t him saying that borrowing did not mean you don’t have to return the borrowed. Instead he was stressing the fact that the only way to successfully lend money to family and friends without it ever becoming an issue is if you lend the money without expectation of receiving it back. I wonder if he made sure to tell me this because he knew I would give my last and eventually have nothing left for myself. 

What you can take away from this: 

Lending money to or borrowing money from your family and friends can be risky but is sometimes necessary. There are three things you can do to ensure that there will not be any bad blood as a result of lending/borrowing money to family and friends. 1) Only lend the money if you have it to give. 2) Do not expect the money back. 3) Always return the money that you borrow.

Two. Do things out of the kindness of your heart. There are so many videos out that show people treating those who are homeless as less than. It is also common for people to assume that individuals who stand on the streets with “homeless” signs are either on drugs/alcoholics or faking homelessness and scamming people. While this may be true of some this is not necessarily true for everyone you see panhandling. 

I remember my father always giving money to homeless people in the streets. One time my sister asked him why he did that and questioned what the people did with the money they were given. It was then that my father told us “It doesn’t matter what they do with the money, you just give out the kindness of your heart and you’ve done your part.” I sat on this for a while. I realized that intentions hold weight. That you have no control over what other people do but that shouldn’t deter you from being a caring and giving person.

  What you can take away from this:  

Homeless people are human and should be treated as such. They are someone’s mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle, and so on. Just like you and I they have some problems and homelessness happens to be one of them but that doesn’t make them less than. It will be hard to differentiate those who truly are homeless and will use the money for “good” from those who may be on drugs or scamming. Therefore, you cannot focus on what the person will do with the money you give them and instead focus on what you feel in your heart. If you feel it in your heart to give, give. If you can’t get over the possibility of the money being spent for “bad” things then grab some food for them, give them bottles of water, or even clothing and covers in the winter. A simple smile or hello can even make a difference.

Three. Take care of the people you love. Our home was always the house that family members moved into when they needed help. It never seemed to be a question of whether or not they could come and stay with us. As a matter of fact it seemed that whenever someone in our family had an issue it was our parents they turned to. My father always seemed to take care of our family. 

It was his lack of hesitation to give and make a way for the people he loved that confirmed this notion to “take care of the people you love.” Even though at the time this seemed to be such a simple beautiful thing, taking care of family and friends, it is not so simple. It is a wonderful and important thing to learn but is not a complete lesson.

What you can take away from this: 

Standing by, taking care of, and supporting the people you love is important. This doesn’t always look like giving money or offering your home as a place to stay. You can take care of the people you love in many different ways. However as I mentioned above, this is not a complete lesson and should not be taught as such. 

Visit the blog this week to see what I eventually learned to be the missing part of the lesson Take Care Of The People You Love.


Once again, Happy Fathers Day Dadda! I love you. 

I want to hear from you!

Share some childhood memories of your father, lessons he has taught you, or simply thank the father figures of your life in the comments below.

7 thoughts on “Three Things I Learned From My Father

  1. One of the things my Father (your grandfather) told me was ” the best revenge is living well” and here is another one ” if you can picture that ni**a fucking someone else and not care then you over him” LMAO!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Beautifully said!! When me and Nique got together I jokingly said to him, ” Now I’m really your sister!”. Ant smiled and said “You already were J”. Really touched my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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